Individuation - What I Want & Why It Matters with Maleita Olson

Part of the Our Parallel Paths podcast series

Recording Date: August 15, 2023

Transcript: Download Transcript HERE

Keywords: Maleita Olson, Gerry Arango-Deely, Our Parallel Paths, Individuation, transition, care-giving, care takers, caretakers, caregiving, adulthood, hover-mother, dignity of risk, independence, interdependence

Summary: Gerry talks with social worker / parent Maleita Olson about the issues faced when "launching" our young adults with disabilities into adulthood. Some topics included are hovering, dignity of risk, comfidence building, and more. This episode also includes a discussion about individuation -- identifying what we want for ourselves in our transition as caregivers, and why it matters that we explore these things.

Topical Index:

• Introduction [00:00]
• Indivdiuation [02:28]
• A shift in parenting: hover-mother [04:11]
• Fear of Failure [05:33]
• Failure to Launch [07:37]
• Who's filling the void> [10:25]
• Tips:
• • We are not responsible if bad things happen [11:28]
• • Risk taking can be good and healthy [12:01]
• • Creating self-worth and confidence in kids [13:00]
• • Teaching resilience [15:47
• Sharing the spotlight / focus [24:02]
• Generational and Cultural shifts [25:36]
• Who are we - what's our identify [28:26]
• Dealing with guilt [22:13]
• What happens when I am gone [34:43]
• Celebrating the launch [42:54]
• Closing [47:14]

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_Siblings’ Perspectives: A Conversation with Emily Holl and Courtney Arango

Recording Date: October 4,2023

Transcript: _Download transcript HERE

Keywords: SibShops, Sib20, SibTeen, Sibling Support Project, Sibling Leadership Network, siblings, Emily Holl, Geralyn Arango-Deely, Courtney Arango, Our Parallel Paths, sandwich generation, peronal futures planning, PATH, end of life planning

Summary: In this episode Gerry talks with two siblings – Emily Holl from the Sibling Support Project, and her own daughter, Courtney Arango – about their experiences growing up with their siblings who have disabilities, and the importance of planning for the inevitable time when parents are no longer in the picture. This important episode explores the many facets of caring for a sibling, the resources available, and the importance of building a network of support around you during this time.

Topical Index:

• Introductions [00:00]
• Siblings’ roles [01:20]
• Our family situation [02:49]
• Introducing Emily Holl – author and advocate [03:43]
• Introducing Courtney [05:23]
• The “sandwich generation’ [05:53]
• Courtney shares childhood perspectives [06:42]
• Courtney’s current thoughts – anticipating change [10:35]
• Emily’s journey [14:01]
• o Change driven by Peter
• o Planning a move to New York
• o Polices and procedures for funding eligibility requirements.
• o Investing in both of our futures
• o Caregiver from afar
• Finding People who share your experiences.
• Sibling Support Project
• o SibNet, Sib20, SibTeen, etc.
• o Understanding and Validating our experiences
• o Who lives my story?
• Friends and acquaintances’ reactions [27:17]
• Facing difficult conversations [28:32]
• o Include everyone
• o Have the conversation
• o Minimize the impact on everyone
• o It’s okay to have your own dreams
• All the pieces of planning [31:19]
• o Live in the moment
• o Have the conversations
• o Use your resources
• o PLANS CHANGE… it’s okay!
• o Re-visit now and then
• o Build in fun and relationships
• o What is the nightmare – confront it head on
• o Celebrate successes / progress

Resources

• ARC Center for Future Planning
• Sibling Support Project
• SIBSHOPS – Sibling Support Project
• The Future is NowCurriculum – Letter of Intent
• Connecting with Other Sibs

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Following Your Lead - an Interview with Teri Brewer

Part of the Our Parallel Paths podcast series with Gerry Arango, Ed.D.

Recording Date: December 5, 2023

Transcript: Download Transcript HERE

Keywords: SAU1, Self-Advocates United as One, Teri Brewer, William Brewer, Disability, independence, supporting independence, self-advocacy, advocacy, transition

Summary: In this episode, Gerry interviews parent Teri Brewer about her journey supporting her son William to live a meaningful life, and her involvement with SAU1 (Self Advocates United as One) with their work in promoting self-advocacy for individuals with disabilities.

Teri shares her journey of discovering William's abilities and advocating for his needs, and the importance of having a strong support system. The main focus for Teri and William's future is finding way to support William in pursuing his dream to live independently. Teri’s interview emphasizes the importance of following our family members’ lead and celebrating their achievements along the way. Notes go here

Topical Index:

• Introductions [00:00]
• SAU1 (Self Advocates United as One) [03:01]
• How We Got Here [03:40]
• Summer of Tears [04:31]
• One Day At a Time [06:41]
• School Years [06:16]
• First Act of Advocacy [09:27]
• Self-Direction [11:00]
• Mom and Dad take a Vacation [12:51]
• Gaining Confidence [14:07]
• Following Wiliam's Lead [15:30]
• Preparing for a Future Without Us [17:23]
• Early Years - Finding Our Way Alone [18:29]
• Transition [22:17]
• The Importance of a Support System [25:43]
• Never Getting Over the Wonder [27:36]
• SAU1 revisited [30:49]
• Preparing for the Future [34:11]
• Closing [38:53]

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Write About It, Part 1: Intro to Journaling

Recording Date: February 5, 2024

Keywords: journaling, writing, keeping a journal, stress reduction, Our Parallel Paths, Gerry Arango, Geralyn Arango-Deeley, benefits of writing

Transcript: Download transcript HERE

Episode Summary: Over the next two episodes Gerry shares her writing journey – journaling. Journaling is a tool Gerry has long used as a means of personal expression, stress reduction, and problem solving. She feels journaling has provided her with a sense of clarity and perspective as she has travelled the Parallel paths of caregiving with her mother and friend, and continues to travel with her son Nic. Join us in this episode as Gerry introduces us to the gift of writing, and some tips on getting started. Gerry follows this up next episode with more tips on journaling as we navigate these Parallel Paths together.

Topical Index:

• Introduction [00:00]
• Holiday Stresses [02:04]
• Ruminating on our stressors [06:06]
• journaling - a long time habit [06:41]
• Caregiving for mom, Nic, and James [07:27]
• Writing as an outlet for emotions [09:07]
• From journal to memoir [10:26]
• Journaling is a story - your story [11:24]
• Benefits of journaling [13:16]
• Journaling is a safe space [16:52]
• More benefits of journaling [17:09]
• Closing [23:11]

Resources:

• Journaling for Emotional Wellness - Rochester Medical Center
• Your journal For Life - the Day One App

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Write About It, Part 2 - Journaling Tips

Recording Date: February 14, 2024

Keywords: Journaling, writing, Gerry Arango, Geralyn Arango-Deeley, Our Parallel Paths, self-expression, journaling tips,

Transcript: Download transcript HERE

Episode Summary: Gerry continues sharing about her writing journey, and encourages caregivers to incorporate the habit of writing or "journaling" into their lives as a tool for problem solving, gaining perspective, and emotional support. In this second episode on journaling Gerry shares some quick and easy tips for making journaling a habit in your life.

Topical Index:

• Introductions [00:00]
• Recap of benefits of journaling [01:36]
• Not a destination - it's a process [05:21]
• Use what makes you comfortable [08:10]
• Write every day [08:41]
• Make it easy [[09:55]
• Don't edit yesterday's entries [12:02]
• Journaling groups [13:12]
• Be patient with yourself [15:02]
• Closing [17:43]

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