Episode 3: Chronic Sorrow and Grief with Maleita Olson

Subtitle: Part of the Our Parallel Paths: A Future for My Loved One With a Disability... and For Me! podcast with Geralyn Arango Deeley, Ed.D.

Recording Date: June 27, 2024

Transcript: Download Transcript HERE

Keywords: Chronic Sorrow, Grief, Gerry Arango Deeley, Geralyn Arango Deeley, Maleita Olson, Sorrow, loss disability, transition, caregiver, parent, Our Parallel Paths

Episode Summary: In this podcast episode, Dr. Geralyn Arango-Deeley interviews Maleita Olson, a licensed clinical social worker and mother of four, about the concept of chronic sorrow and grief in the context of parenting a child with special needs. They discuss the challenges and losses that parents may experience, such as the loss of privacy, the loss of feeling like an expert on their own child, and the loss of being able to make mistakes without feeling guilty. They also emphasize the importance of acknowledging and validating these feelings, as well as finding support and community among other parents who can relate to their experiences. The conversation highlights the need to hold both the sorrow and the joy of parenting a child with special needs, and to recognize that it is okay to feel both. Maleita shares a quote from an autistic individual that encourages parents to mourn the expectations they had for their child, rather than mourning the child themselves. They discuss the ongoing process of letting go and the cyclical nature of grief. The episode concludes with a message of hope and solidarity for all parents on parallel paths.

Topical Index: Introductions [00:00] Chronic Sorrow article [01:12] Introducing Maleita Olson [04:46] Culture vs. the right to sadness [06:40] Compounding of losses [08:18] Disability and a sense of loss [10:15] Freedom to make mistakes [12:51] Micro-lossess [17:10] Internalizing our children's struggles [22:32] As a parent I am responsible for everything [23:53] Different responses to loss [26:01] walking through chronic sorrow [27:55] It is What It is [32:44] Balancing sorrow and joy [34:55] Importance of community [36:40] Closing [45:37]

Resources: A Grief That Never Ends: Chronic Sorrow

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